almost okay

ONE LOWLY LEG MAN'S APPRECIATION OF 'GRINDHOUSE'

Now that the Tarantino/Rodriguez double feature is officially playing around the country in what's left of the so-called 'grindhouse' circuit, I'd like to throw my two cents towards a critical assessment of what is essentially Q.T.'s latest brainchild. Take it easy, this won't hurt a bit.

First off, my opinion has never changed in the matter. I believe both films to be brilliant, historically significant reminders of our past, while at the same time making wry comments on current pop culture and the future of film in general. I sat through the double feature twice: the very first matinée on the day it opened here in Detroit (one day after my birthday, by the way...thanks, Quentin!), and again a week later. On second viewing I picked up subtle things like time-line shifts and the relationships between the two films, their settings and characters, etc. More importantly, having seen it once I was able to time my between-features piss so that I missed not very much of anything. The first time through, of course, Q.T. knowingly stepped on my full bladder at the beginning of 'Death Proof' with one of the girls running to pee and clutching her crotch inside the first five minutes of the movie. There's nothing worse than trying to forget about needing to piss than having some fucker remind you that your bladder's full. Ha ha, Quentin! You fucking got me! Along with half the audience, I presume.

He did get me, folks, he really did. So for the purpose of this review I will concentrate on Quentin's contribution to the mix, the second feature 'Death Proof', which I found to be far superior both in content and structure to 'Planet Terror'. Don't get me wrong: I think 'Terror' was more than competently crafted by Rodriguez. And the fact that he contributed music and reportedly screwed the gorgeous female lead only serves to add to my admiration of him as a director. But they threw a lot of money at his film, and if it hadn't been for the talented group of actors involved, this could easily have been nothing more than a clusterfuck of computer generated effects. In my opinion, it wasn't really a whole lot more than that, although the somewhat predictable story was a little better than your average zombie fare.

No, I far and away preferred Q.T.'s approach to 'Death Proof'... car chase scenes filmed the old fashioned way with cameras mounted inside and outside the vehicles, stunts performed by actual people risking life and limb and not by slick animated bodies that do whatever the computer tells them to do. Of course one of the critical scenes - the big crash, made minor use of special effects, but for the most part Quentin just shot this fucking thing, 'nuff said. I read reviews that derided the dialogue as corny and forced, but I found the conversations between the women to be lively and interesting, although obviously written by a man. Here's the deal, though, guys: when we're not around, women actually do talk a lot like we do. Get used to it. And the girls, especially the second set that included Rosario Dawson, Tracie Thomas (I fell in love!), Zoe Bell (an actual stunt woman brilliantly cast by Q.T.) and Mary Elizabeth Winstead, made me believe every word Quentin wrote.

The structure of the film, which divides the story into two halves was another creative device that I thought worked extremely well and had the gears in my aging brain grinding hard to try and put things together. The first half depicted a night of horror imposed on a group of innocents by a maniacal killer; during the second half said killer faces his day of retribution in the harsh spotlight of the noonday sun. And you want to talk about death? The dead bodies and exploding zombies in 'Planet Terror' were too numerous to count, including a small child (Rodriguez's own son in a cameo) shot in the head. But I didn't experience the actual pain of loss, the real cruelty of death until the big head-on collision in 'Death Proof'...how the Grim Reaper can come anytime, no matter how old you are or how much fun you're having. He can even strike right in the middle of your favorite song while your delicious brown leg is hanging out the car window and the Texas wind is blowing in your hair. I felt that crash like a punch in the gut. And nothing came close to putting that feeling on me in 'Planet Terror'.

There was no laughing after people died in Q.T.'s movie, and I think that's a major distinction.

I have to give an enthusiastic nod to Quentin's selection of music to make up the soundtrack, too, along with the fact that much of it was interwoven with the first part of the story and a 45 jukebox inside a bar in Austin. Brilliant! Maybe it's just because I remember those old jukeboxes and have always wanted one. Maybe it's because a lot of the songs included were forgotten favorites of mine. I don't really know. All I can say is, I bought both soundtracks and listen to the one from 'Death Proof' on a regular basis while the 'Planet Terror' CD was relegated to the stack after just a couple spins. That Joe Tex song gets to me every time I hear it, and Q.T. lovingly allowed it to play out during a silent scene where Sydney Poitier's (I fell in love again! I'm so fickle!) character tries to text message her man to disappointing results. It was a poignant and beautiful juxtaposition of technologies that left me breathless. The incidental music was appropriated from other film scores by two of my favorite film composers, Pino Donaggio and Ennio Morricone, and the title track was a tune Jack Nitzsche wrote in the sixties that was later used in an actual vintage grindhouse flick called 'Village Of The Giants'. By recycling these tunes, Q.T. cleverly keeps these brilliant composers' music alive in the collective contemporary pop psyche, even if the casual film-goer doesn't even know who they are. Kind of like subliminal advertising. Slick.

The casting was generally well done, and Quentin has a knack for mixing little-known actors with ones that have a rich history, aging stars that contribute some sort of grizzled soul to their characters. In the latter regard, Kurt Russell was a stroke of genius portraying the bad guy, Stunt Man Mike. He was able to embody everyday charming evil, which is what makes people such scary things in the first place. Kudos, Kurt.

Oh, and don't turn away when you think this one's over, folks. Kurt doesn't get his freeze-frame comeuppance until after the screen goes black the first time. And again, no laughs from the audience, just a lot of cringing. And applause.

The ancillary materials they came up with to promote both movies, including one sheet posters and lobby cards, are nicely documented in a beautifully designed book that also features interviews with the directors and lots of behind-the-scenes photos. It's called 'Grindhouse' (of course) and is available from Weinstein Books at your local book dealer or on line. It's a bargain at $29.95. I highly recommend it, only after you've seen the flicks.

At one time the rumor was each movie would be released separately to theaters after the supposedly 'missing reels' were restored, but I'm betting we see the DVD releases before that happens. And I, for one, will be standing in line for my copy of 'Death Proof'. I can't wait to see the lap dance scene.