almost okay

The Professor, Keeping Later Than
Normal Hours, Blogs On...

Misery Loathes Company

The doorbell rings
More of a ding-knock than a ring
But that's what it does because
It's not quite right, never has been

I ignore it

It's almost 7:30 at night, for Christ's sake

An insistent knuckle rap on the door
Follows the ring...RapRapRapRap
A pause, then more RapRapRap
RapRapRapRap

I make my way to the door
Look out the window and see
Somebody trying to sell something

Some fucking thing that I don't want

Just as he reaches to rap again
I open the door wide
Swing it suddenly open

I stare at him a second before saying:
“No thanks, man”

Before I can close the door
Thinking that would be that
He says: “But you don't
Even know what I want”

“I know you're selling...”
A pause as I look for the logo
The logo on his uniform that
Will tell me specifically

What it is - the thing that I don't want

“I know you're selling alarms”
I say after seeing the logo
“No, thank you”

“See, I'm not selling anything”
I look at him, wait for the right moment
“I'm doing a survey” he says

Suddenly the moment is right and I say:

“I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
WHAT YOU ARE DOING!”

“I DON'T WANT TO ANSWER
ANY GODDAMN QUESTIONS!”

“I DO NOT WANT TO ANSWER
ANY MORE GODDAMN QUESTIONS!!!”

“I DO NOT WANT TO TALK
TO YOU ANYMORE!!!!”

“GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY
GODDAMN PORCH!!!!!!!”

******

You see, I tried to make it easy
Tried to teach him the power of

'No'

Tried to save him some precious
Wasted LIFE minutes but
He just wouldn't LISTEN
Didn't hear the patience in my voice

Before I lost my composure

Didn't understand that I was
Doing him a favor when I said
A simple 'No, thank you'

Twice

Helping him to get on his way

******

I can say honestly that I don't know
What I want other than to be
Happy, of course

But I DO know what it is that I
DON'T want

And that's EVERYTHING else

-Prof. Dirk Beat


Blues For Jack

It's not the wine, my friend
In & of itself, the wine is good
No, it's the frailty of this bag of flesh
In which you & I are trapped

The bones seem to need it
The heart the brain the liver...
All need the warm comfort of it
All hurt when it isn't here

You & I, we both know the truth:
It should not be necessary
Absolutely should not be needed
To feel as though we 'fit'

Suddenly it is, though, needed
& I can't help but wonder
If this Road that I'm On
Is the same damn one that you traveled

The same long, dusty path towards
Pain & the End of Wine, also
Towards Comfort & Peace
Towards Home

-Prof. Dirk Beat


Blues For Jack, Again

How many poems get tossed back
Like so many fishes too small to eat?

I have a strange feeling that there is
A value to every sincere thing that's written

No matter how seemingly insignificant,
Callous or cruel

No matter how filled with self-pity
No matter how trite or predictable

It is the human spirit made tangible
The only thing that gives us all voices

I prefer not to apply critical judgment
To anything anymore, whether it be

A Painting, a Poem or a Song

Is there truly such a thing as
Bad singing?

If singing is what you need to do
Sing!

-Prof. Dirk Beat