How do I describe her? Her eyes like pools of India ink, almond-shaped, her slightest glance a dagger to penetrate my soul; her lips the essence of feminine sexuality... expressive, full, ripe and lush; her hair a wild midnight mane of curls. And her body... Shoot, don't get me started on that body. An ass that speaks a language all its own, perfect posture and breasts that could make a starving man forget his need for food and water. Oh, and let's not overlook those smooth brown legs that go on forever. No sir. Can't forget those long lovely legs...Of course I'm talking about Pam Grier.
The year was 1984. The Tigers won the World Series, Boy George was tippy-toeing barefoot through America and a Canadian film company produced a sci-fi horror flick called 'The Vindicator' (also known as 'Frankenstein '88'). Pam was in it, beautiful and strong and still in her thirties. Still hot as Arizona asphalt on the Fourth of July.
The quick synopsis: A research scientist meets his end in a horrible lab accident, but his unscrupulous boss decides to put the guy's brain into an indestructible mechanical man that can be sold to NASA for use in deep space travel, specifically on a mission to Mars. The catch? There's a built-in survival mode designed to cause the mechanical man to destroy any and all threats to its person once it has been touched. (Funny, but sometimes I feel just like that myself.) Of course, there's a bypass unit which is conveniently being tinkered with when the experiment (code named 'Frankenstein') wakes up. Mayhem ensues when he escapes the facility and Pam's character, a ruthless weapons expert and martial arts specialist named Hunter, is called in to bring the guy back.
I'm not going to tell you this is a great movie, but it holds up well even after more than two decades of obscurity. They must have been on to something, too, because just a couple years later, 'Robocop' was a smash hit using the same theme of a disembodied good guy's head put into a cyborg body in the name of evil corporate interests, only in the latter case Peter Weller's character is a cop.
There are lots of explosions and fire, some brief shots of nubile young breasts, a bit of gore here and there and an ugly near-rape scene. But Pam is the reason to watch and they use her to great effect. She gets to shoot guns, drive fast, punch a sucker out, kill a couple of innocent folks in the line of duty and drop the 'F' bomb more than once. She's strong. She's hot. I was hard the entire time. Hey! I just thought of a great title for the sequel: 'The Masturbator' A.K.A. 'Frankenshlong '08'! Let's do it, Pam!
When I woke up this morning I was still half dreaming. After watching this flick last night I was lucky enough to have Pam appear in my dreams. We were running in and out of the television set, an old one, the console set at my Grandmother's house. Sometimes we were just watching the movie together in Grandma's living room and sometimes we were in the movie, my life in peril and Pam rushing to save me. I remember waking up to take a piss, going back to bed and the dream continuing as though I'd put the VCR on pause and started it up again. 
Finally we escaped the bad guys and Pam and I were just about to get busy when I woke up. It was after nine o'clock. The first day of the new year and the overnight snowfall was reflecting bright white light through my bedroom window. I tried desperately to fall asleep again, but couldn't, which is probably a good thing.If I could dream about Pam every night, finish it the way Li'l Marty wants to, do her upside down, round and round, hard and soft, over and over and over again...why, I might not ever get out of bed again. No shit.
By the way, this flick has been long out of print, so good luck finding a copy. I saw some DVDs on the Internet somewhere, but I couldn't tell if it was just something that somebody burned from an old VHS or if it had actually been newly re-released. I recently saw a VHS copy just like mine on Ebay for $35! Luckily, Santa dropped one in my lap just a week ago when I turned up a barely-played tape at the junk store for only three bucks!Thanks, Santa! Thanks, Pam!
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