almost okay

Just to set the record straight, folks, I am NOT a Democrat. Have I voted for Democrats time and time again? Yes, I have. But I've also wasted plenty of votes on Independents in my day, and I threw away a big one on Ralph Nader a couple of elections ago. Remember that fiasco? Nader pulled just enough of the electorate away from Al Gore so that he had no clear margin of victory in Florida, and Governor Jeb Bush handed the state's 25 electoral votes to big brother George W. on a silver platter.

The real culprit was tricky positioning of candidate names on the ballots and the mechanical nature of the ballots themselves, which caused thousands of votes intended for Al Gore to be accidentally miscast for Patrick Buchanan. For the next month America held our collective breath while recounts took place and the term 'hanging chad' was rammed down our throats so often I felt like Linda Lovelace at a wrap party.

Anyway, the point is... I'd forgotten how fucked up our entire electoral process was until this year. We haven't even completed the nominating part and I'm already sick to my stomach. Just take a look at the front-running Democrats, for example.

Hillary would do anything to get back into the White House and this run for the Presidency has been her and Bill's plan ever since he vacated the Oval Office to make way for Bush back in 2001. They moved to New York, set up shop and bought Hillary a seat in the Senate, where she's been patiently waiting for her chance to strike. Well, now it's here. America is so sick of the Republicans and politics as usual on Capitol Hill that they're even willing to consider voting for a WOMAN. Not only that, they're also contemplating the merits of voting for a BLACK MAN. For 'change', they say. Imagine that.

Change is what we need, too. We need to change this whole fucking nominating process! Look at these two at each other's throats, taking each other's statements out of context and parsing sentences to make the other one look bad whenever possible. And fucking Bill is putting in way more than his two cents-worth, too, in my opinion. Issues of race and gender have been brought up when you'd think Hillary and Obama would be far and away better off to disregard any mention of either. Why draw attention to the fact that the Democratic Party is trying to position either one of them for an historic run at the Presidency?

Don't get me wrong. I voted for Bill Clinton. Twice. I think he was a great President, and probably the most fiscally responsible one we've had in decades. But just because I voted for Bill twice doesn't necessarily mean I'd vote for Hillary once. She's proven in the past few weeks after losing in Iowa that she can be a vicious, shrill, manipulative shrew. Cry some more on camera, Hillary. Women might buy that bullshit, but it ain't gonna work on me.

What bothers me most is I don't understand how the Clintons can pull out their attack arsenal on Barack Obama after claiming that they've worked all their lives so that African Americans can have a chance to do just what Obama's doing right now - run for President of the United States. Leave the man alone, you two, and stick to the fucking issues... health care, the economy, the fucking WAR for Christ's sake!

Just between you and me, I think Bill is itching for his third term, something nice and easy where he can work behind the scenes, still serve his personal political agenda and not have to make speeches four times a week. Not to mention it would give him another opportunity to dip his wick in a chubby intern or two.

But suppose either Hillary or Obama get the nomination, and let's say John Edwards is the running mate. Do you really think all those Red States will vote for them? Sure, the Democrats in those states will. The problem is there aren't enough Democrats in those fucking states. Texas, Kentucky, Nevada, Wyoming, Alaska, Nebraska...both Dakotas, both Carolinas... Honestly, do you think they'll suddenly turn blue? I'm guessing no.

You two lunkheads have been wrangling over the women's vote and the black vote. Hey! Wake up! Unless you're able to get some of that coveted redneck vote, you can't possibly win!

But just the fact that a woman and a black man are in contention at this point (whether they have a snowball's chance in Hell of winning or not) is interesting. I can't help wondering how long it will be before a BLACK WOMAN can run. I'm thinking 2016, and I'm thinking Pam Grier. Huh? What do you say? If Arnold Schwarzenegger can be Governor of California, why can't Pam be President? The Pam Grier for President campaign starts right here, right now!

All we need is a slogan... Let's see... I'M DOWN WITH FOXY BROWN!... No that's too ethnic and it doesn't use her real name. How about A VOTE FOR PAM IS A GRAND SLAM!... Hmm, maybe a baseball reference wouldn't be good, but hopefully that steroid thing will be long gone by then.

Anyway, let me work on it. I'll get back to you.

Three beautiful asses for the three asses again this week (I like Obama, and would probably have left him off the target, but I like asses even more.)... At the top of the list we have Capri. She specializes in nude sensual massage, starting at 200 kisses, but other services are negotiable. You'll find her on the Miami page.
Next up is Idol, an exotic dancer and escort who works out of Vegas and is available for private shows. Her rates start at $400. Nice ass and some really nice shoes...really VERY nice shoes...yeah...mmm...

Finally we have India, a dancer and model who's been featured in 'Big Black Oiled Butt' magazine (who knew there was such a thing?). You'll find her on the Brooklyn page and you can call her for rates. No emails or blocked numbers, please.