almost okay

Dear Lyzako,

In a sincere attempt to keep myself informed, I tried to watch the news last night, only to find my brain so burdened with anxiety and fear afterwards that I could not sleep. Thank the gods for beer and fatigue, although I don't know how much longer I'll be able to afford the beer.

It seems as though each new day brings another crisis in the world, and the big news yesterday was the failure of one of the nation's largest banks. The report showed people literally camped outside in line awaiting an opportunity to withdraw their cash from said bank, most of them having less than the $100,000 FDIC maximum in their accounts, which means their money is fully insured by the good old United States government.

As a result, there is now serious speculation as to whether or not more banks will be in trouble, thanks in large part to the ongoing problems in the mortgage industry and the skyrocketing number of foreclosures caused by our faltering economy. When I heard my own bank of twenty-something years mentioned at the top of the list of other possible failures, my heart sank. I reached for another Blue, thumbed the remote to Letterman and waited for the Top Ten List as I tried to turn my mind to kinder thoughts.

After the commercial break I was treated to the 'Top Ten Ways You Can Tell Your Bank Is In Trouble', and even though most of the ways were very funny, I couldn't even manage a chuckle.

Of course, the majority of what I've been able to save over a lifetime of sweat and toil doesn't even fall under that magic FDIC umbrella, my IRA heavily invested in mutual funds that continue to decline in value each quarter. The pittance I keep on hand to pay the bills (and buy my Blue) will be covered entirely, however, but in the event of a complete economic collapse, I can't help but wonder: Who's insuring the FDIC? China?

Last Saturday I spent the afternoon at a matinee, a time-warp double feature of 'Creature From the Black Lagoon' and 'It Came From Outer Space', both shown in the primitive 3-D process that requires the viewer to wear those flimsy cardboard glasses with the red and blue lenses. The glasses they handed out with admission, though, had the red and blue opposite of what was needed for the dimensional effect to be properly seen, so we were instructed to reverse the lenses by wearing the glasses inside out. It worked.

For three hours I was able to live within a simpler world, a black-and-white one where creatures - whether they be from outer space or from beneath the surface of a remote Amazonian lagoon, were the people's biggest worries. No corrupt politicians (although I found the sheriff in the second movie to be more than a little suspect), no global warming and not a word about failing banks.

It felt good.

As things go, I realize that I've had it pretty easy most of my life, even if I lose every dime during the course of this Republican plot to change our middle-class status to that of indentured servants. I have ample space in which to hide from the world and accumulate the things (records, books, etc.) that make me feel comfortable, and I still have a house note that I can afford (although I don't know how much longer that will be, either). I am in relatively good health and want for little but happiness.

Still, recent economic events point to more losses and greater downward shifts in our standard of living, and I can't help but be a little concerned that I have to be concerned with which bank my tiny pile of money is in. I don't think I'd be very good at figuring out when to pull all my cash out of the bank in a panic.

You see, at times like that, I usually do panic. And panic causes confusion, which is the exact opposite of the clarity of mind one needs to feel alive and safe and secure. As I write this, I can feel the blood rushing past my ears and my heart thumping heavy rhythm in my chest... all from simply contemplating the scenario. I'm afraid actually living through it would be my undoing.

I keep thinking back to that double-feature, though, and the 'cutting edge' technology that made the whole 3-D process possible. The world was a far less complex place in the fifties, my friend, as you are well aware, and I have no doubt that there were times when many folks felt some anxiety even back then. But has the march of technology helped us out at all? Has it driven much change aside from more greed and greater misery?

I think not.

I just wish that the problems of our world today were as simple to remedy as those wrong-sided glasses they gave us at the movie. It sure would be nice to restore some of that rose-colored view of the future I once innocently held, long before cell phones and laptops and digital media ruined our lives.

Regards and Well Wishes,
Marty Sherman