Just a few quick thoughts before I hit the sack tonight...
First of all, I must apologize for being somewhat half-in-the-bag at the moment due to three tall at B-Dub's coupled with a full day's worth of work, most of which, by the way, will need to be re-done tomorrow thanks to an error on the part of upper management. Ah, well. Never enough time to do things right, but always enough time to do them twice.
Anyway, the beer has me much more sloppy than I should be at this point, so please forgive whatever grammatical mistakes, errors in syntax; and: superfluous, Punctuation, you, might, run! across! as, you, READ, this!!!
All sport-fucking aside, mon frere, my lack of writing lately is a direct result of my recent increased workload. The more 'spooged' that you see here when you check in, the more likely you can bet that I'm toiling away, developing carpal tunnel in exchange for a barely-living wage.
So I'm taking a few days off, if you don't mind, in honor of our glorious country's 232nd birthday - a long holiday weekend that will include yet another cherished visit to my past, some fantastic summertime weather in the forecast, a sixty-two-dollar tank of gas to burn and a longing to forget all about today's troubles in my heart.
Before I can get to this much-needed mini-vacation, however, I need to do just one more long day tomorrow, which requires a 7:00 a.m. start time and, therefore, me hauling my lazy ass out of bed at 5:30. The birds won't even be up yet! How can anyone expect me to be?! The smart money says I'll be running late.
Upon my return home tonight and my subsequent beery noshing, I noticed that I had just a single can of Blue left in the fridge, the lonely, leftover product of my most recent, sausage-grilling, beer-swilling binge, one that emptied the better part of a twelve-pack.
I figure having totally forgotten that I only had one beer here at home was God's way of telling me to go to bed early for a change. I'm getting very thirsty, though, so we'll see.
In Local News news... Detroit City Council is now under F.B.I. investigation for taking bribes in exchange for awarding a multi-million-dollar sludge-hauling contract. You'd expect that, right? But the topper is this: Somehow, FOX2 Morning News hostess Fanchon Stinger (who, coincidentally happens to look just like my second wife... “How many wives have you had, Marty?” you ask. Just one.) has somehow gotten herself implicated in this whole mess. Late last year, Fanchon, along with the local sleazy contractor in question, was named in a related lawsuit, and in light of developments over the past few days, the brass at FOX2 has temporarily suspended the milk chocolate delight from the air until further notice in order to avoid any chance of a possible conflict of interest while she crosses her slender legs and reads the headlines in the morning.
I only tell you this because the numbers have spiked here and I'm seeing twice - yes TWICE, the amount of traffic. All because people are worried about how Fanchon's doing, and the search engines are driving them right to me. The most visits in a single day here ever! No shit!
And that includes the infamous 'banning- Marty- from- the- bars- because- he- mentioned- the- bartender's- cleavage- and- expressed- an- urge- to- eat- the- ass- of- another- bartender- at- a- nearby- bar' episode!
So that's it, I guess. The numbers are up, even though my production is down. It truly is odd how things work, eh?
By the way, I have less than half of that last can of beer left and it's barely ten-thirty. I'm thinking that a saunter up to the corner for a forty might just be in order.
Cheers, Warm Regards and GOD BLESS GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING AMERICA!
Marty Motherfucking Sherman
PS: At least we still have that scrumptious Ama Daetz on the air!
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