almost okay

Can you believe the NFL has started playing already? Where the fuck has the summer gone?

Oh well, what are you gonna do? Ask four rhetorical questions in a row? I guess Steve Miller was right: “Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'... into the future...” Man, that guy was a visionary.

But Brett Favre... well, he's another story.

I remember watching this boob break down like a little girl when he announced his retirement at the end of last season. There's been speculation all summer that he was going to try to come back and he even got in some hot water for illegally contacting the Minnesota Vikings to discuss it.

It took months to come up with a solution that everybody could live with, and now finally the Packers have announced that Favre will be traded to the Jets for some sort of future draft pick. I can't for the life of me figure out what took so long, but thank the gods it's over.

Now I can get back to worrying about whether those poor Olympic athletes will get asthma from breathing Beijing's polluted air.

Speaking of sports in general, though, there's just waaaaayyyy too much of it these days, professional or otherwise. The television coverage is non-stop, too, and of course, NFL quarterbacks and Olympians top the list in terms of prestige. But you also have thousands of other people trying to eke out a living playing things like professional lacrosse (really, there is a league!) and soccer (indoors and out), not to mention bowling, cycling and mixed martial arts fighting.

Hmmm... that gives me an idea: maybe they should combine those last three and we can watch heavily tattooed guys on bicycles trying to kill each other with bowling balls.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Brett Favre. You know, when the guy was just playing and keeping his mouth shut I didn't really have a problem with him. But now that this on-again-off-again retirement fiasco has put him in the news more often than the Iraq War, I'm just sick to fucking death of him.

In my opinion, if you hold a fucking press conference and announce to the world that you are going to retire from your sport of choice, you should have to sit out for a year. Any contractual obligations you had to the team or they had to you are null and void, including future salary. So go watch the games on TV for a season. That's retirement. If you still feel like coming back after that, then you can sign as a free agent with whatever team is interested in you.

Try telling your boss at the end of the day today that you've had enough and it's time to move on. I'll bet he has somebody new sitting at your fucking desk trying to look busy by lunchtime tomorrow.

I'm just glad Favre went to the AFC, because if he'd gone to Tampa Bay like they speculated he might, we weary Lions fans would have had to deal with him on a regular basis, and that would have been cruel. It would have meant that for a couple of games each season Favre's antics might distract us from our serious routine of watching the home town boys discover a new way to lose each week.

Speaking of which, notice he didn't get in trouble for illegally talking to Lions' management.

He may be an ass but he's not completely stupid.

Trish 'The Dish' is a Florida girl born and raised, and you'll find her plying her trade on the Miami page. Not only does she claim to have the 'phattest booty' on Craig's List, Trish also promises to be the 'perfect stress reliever' after your long day of work. Upscale gentlemen preferred. Check out her 'blow-and-go' special on Sundays during football season for a mere 'forty roses'.