almost okay

My Dear Lyzako,

Summer is taking its sweet time arriving here in southeast lower Michigan. Just this morning I was forced to fire up the furnace so that I'd have comfortable showering conditions, the indoor temperature just fifty-eight degrees upon my waking. Our overnight low was in the forties.

It seems to me we're long overdue for a hot and muggy day, but as slow as Mother Nature has been in providing one this year, I've been even more snail-like in making the transition myself. I feel as though I'm still solidly stuck in those Winter doldrums, the gray sky depression, the three-layer clothing blues.

Yesterday, despite forecasts of clouds and rain, we had extremely pleasant weather. Sunday turned out to be a glowing day with abundant sunshine and deep blue sky, shaving cream piles of clouds hurtling by overhead only occasionally blocking Ol' Sol's smiling warmth. It was still uncharacteristically cool, though, with a high that barely notched sixty.

Just a week prior to Memorial Day, when the grilling season officially begins, I decided to take advantage of what may have been the last cool Sunday until Autumn to make a big pot of chicken mushroom noodle soup and some spaghetti. Cooking always bolsters my spirit and yesterday's time preparing the upcoming week's meals was no exception.

As the sun fell to a height just above the trees its rays slanted into the front of the house, lit the living room floor and walls with golden rectangles of warmth and tossed a bright, lemon-yellow hello on the south wall of the kitchen, the light tempered only slightly by half-drawn slatted blinds.

I put on the new Erykah Badu CD and commenced to cook, pretending I was appearing on one of those Food Network television shows, going so far as to narrate aloud my method as I worked. It felt silly at times, the narrating, but it lightened my mood. Alone in the kitchen my chuckles increased as the beer flowed. At times I even imitated Julia Child's thick gurgle. As goofy as it felt, it helped with my timing, the soup finishing just as the pasta sauce (my own version of puttanesca) did, the spaghetti cooked perfectly al dente.

In the waning sunshine I chopped, diced and sliced, even swept the black-and-white checkered linoleum free of the larger food crumbs and debris between stirs of the sauce. The dishes that had been collecting in the sink all week and smelling more like vomit each day were washed and I had an overall good feeling about life in general by the time night fell.

Unfortunately, due to frequent tasting and constant (though moderate) beer drinking throughout the course of the afternoon, I had little appetite once the food was finished, managing to eat only a half-plate of the pasta prior to punching out for the day at nine.

I freezer-bagged two quarts of the soup and enough of the sauce for an easy meal or two some time down the road, boxed the rest up and put it in the fridge. For lunch today I had some of the soup, my own recipe, the button mushrooms adding an earthy touch to what otherwise would just be your standard chicken noodle.

The sunshine continues today and I feel as though I may have turned a dark corner, finally emerging into daylight from a too-long night of dreamless sleep. It's about time I woke up, too. About time I shook my mane and roared again.

But first I think I'll take a nap.

Regards,
Iron Chef Sherman

SHERMAN'S EASY PASTA ALLA PUTTANESCA (WHORE'S STYLE) CON VONGOLE

One large can tomatoes - diced, whole or crushed
One-half cup olive oil
One can chopped clams
Two tins flat anchovies in oil
One-half cup flat Italian parsley, chopped, divided
Four large cloves garlic, minced
Crushed red pepper to taste
One tbsp. dried oregano
One tbsp. dried basil
One-half cup ripe olives, pitted and rough chopped
One pound pasta of choice
Two tbsp. capers (optional)
One or more whores (optional)

For sauce:

-Add olive oil, the packing oil from the anchovies and garlic to cold skillet. Turn heat on high.

-Wait until the garlic scent blossoms then add tomatoes. If fresh plum tomatoes are used instead of canned, quarter each and remove seeds, then dice.

-Add olives, capers, oregano, basil, half the parsley and a heavy pinch of crushed red pepper.

-Partially cover pan and turn heat down to medium.

-Cook for a half hour, stirring often.

-Drain clam juice into pasta water and add clams to sauce. Add anchovies, another pinch of red pepper and the balance of the parsley.

-Finish with a long drizzle of olive oil.

For pasta:

-Add clam juice to four quarts boiling water. Add a tlbsp. of salt, pasta. Return to boil.

-Follow package directions for cooking time, setting timer thirty seconds short of time on box. For example: If directions indicate 5-7 minutes cooking time, set kitchen timer for 4:30, then check for doneness.

-Drain and toss with as much sauce as needed to coat.

-Serve with freshly-grated Parmesan or Romano cheese.

Note: The capers really add something, but if you can't find them easily or don't want to spend the extra money, simply leave them out. I do it all the time, and if you're serving this to kids, they'll just pick the little green buggers out anyway. You might even want to experiment with using half and half green and ripe olives. Whatever you do, though, use good olives with the pits still in them (of course removed prior to putting in the sauce, stupid), NOT the canned California variety.

If using fresh clams, allow five minutes cooking time at the end for them to open, discarding any that remain shut.

If you want to get fancy, you can have the whore(s) undress and eat it right off bare boobs, stomach or ass, but you'll probably have to pay her/them extra.