Oh my God! There IS a God! Finally something to rave about!John McPain is folding up tent here in Michigan! Local GOP leaders, among them the outspoken and bigoted Oakland County Executive L. Brooks (Brothers) Patterson are mystified at the sudden withdrawal of McPain's campaign team, and many fear that the decision may shift the advantage in a number of close local races to the Democrats. Patterson was quoted as saying: “I feel like I woke up this morning and there was a note on my pillow.”
I sure hope he kissed you on the cheek before he left, L. Brooks.
On the down side, this move may open the floodgates for a flurry of anti-Obama ads sponsored by any number of independent bigoted groups dead set on not having a black man in the White House. Stay tuned for more details as they become available.
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Another cause for rejoicing! O.J. Simpson is found guilty of armed robbery and kidnapping and now faces a minimum of five years in prison! He could even get a LIFE SENTENCE!
After just thirteen hours of deliberation on the thirteenth anniversary of his acquittal on murder charges in 1995, a jury of nine women and three men returned a unanimous vote of “GUILTY, YOUR HONOR!”, sending the former Pro-Bowler and Heisman Trophy winner to jail.
O.J.'s lawyers asked if he could please "pass GO and collect his $200 first" (Simpson had been planning a celebratory trip to a Vegas strip club figuring he would be acquitted once again), but the judge responded with a resounding “NO WAY! GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL!”
If only it could have been Friday the 13th! Now THAT, my friends, would have been POETIC JUSTICE!
I'm so excited that I'm quivering... and it feels like... like... like I'm about to SPEAK in TONGUES! YES!
Oops, no... Sorry, I think I shit my pants...
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