almost okay

You know, the closer it gets to the all-digital switch, the more I find myself watching no television at all. Except for midnight Sunday broadcasts of remastered 'Star Trek' episodes, occasional snippets of the 'Tyra' show while I eat my lunch and regular checks of the local news, I watch almost nothing.

Oh, and porn... I watch porn.

Last Sunday night, after I'd watched my porn and just prior to viewing 'Star Trek', I turned to Channel 7 to check the headlines and the upcoming week's weather. To my surprise, there was Glenda Lewis anchoring the eleven o'clock broadcast while wearing a purple top that looked like it was frigging painted on! I couldn't take my eyes away from her perfectly-shaped bosom, and even though I'd just, ahem... sat through several sex scenes featuring my favorite porn girl Angel Kelly, Li'l Marty reared his horny head again!

By the time the weather came on I was collapsed across the futon, my pants around my ankles, completely spent. And I couldn't remember a word she'd said.

The funny part is, when I checked the numbers here on Almost Okay yesterday morning, I noticed there were several hits from search engines, and guess what... I wasn't the only one turned on by Glenda's mouth-watering mammary glands. Right there on the list, along with a handful of similarly-bizarre, fetish-fueled searches, were the keywords “glenda lewis breasts” and “glenda lewis boobs”! Big as day!

Take a look for yourself! Don't be shy... go ahead and stare! They're absolutely perfect, am I right?

* * * * * * * * * * *

Earlier Sunday evening I'd been watching one of my favorite pornos from the past, “Guess Who Came At Dinner?”, which stars the lovely and talented Angel Kelly. Doesn't she make a beautiful bride?

Written and directed by veteran porn star Paul Thomas (who even wrote and warbled the theme song - 'She's black and beautiful...'), this one's a send up of the Spencer Tracy/Kate Hepburn/ Sidney Poitier flick from the sixties where a white girl brings her black boyfriend home to meet the folks. Only in the porn version, the girlfriend (Angel, of course) is black.

After meeting at Club Med and falling in love, Angel and her beau (played by Joey Silvera) head back home to introduce his new fiancée to the family. The kicker? Joey's family is filthy rich, which he coincidentally reveals to Angel right after she's finished him off orally, causing her to choke and sputter on his man juice.

Despite the fact that he's supposed to be worth over a hundred million dollars, Silvera drives them back to his brother's place in a Volkswagen convertible with a noisy muffler. Every single person who meets Angel stutters some version of the line '...but she's bluh... blah... she's bluh... bluh... she's beautiful!' Even the jack-booted neo-Nazi sister-in-law, played by Angela Baron (who was actually born in Dusseldorf), delivers it with a thick but natural German accent.

Jeannie Pepper plays the maid and Billy Dee is the butler, while John Leslie plays the part of Joey's big brother, who's none too pleased that Joey's planning on marrying a black chick. Until the black chick seduces him, that is. John gets Angel, Billy gets Jeannie and Angela gets a Tegrin bottle in her solo shower scene, before they all end up taking turns with each other during the climactic orgy finale when dinner breaks down into a no-holds-barred sexual free-for-all.

I remember seeing this one when it was newly-released in 1987, and it instantly cemented Angel Kelly's status as a star in my eyes. Another great Ebay find, I paid only twelve bucks including shipping for it and it came with the original oversized box in near-mint condition.

They simply don't make 'em like this anymore, folks!