Man! What next? A plague of locusts?
We've been hit hard by bad weather over the past week here in Detroit, and we didn't even see the worst of it. First, a dumping of heavy snow, then freezing rain, then dense fog as the temperatures rose to record highs, then flooding and high winds that took down power lines. More snow is predicted for tonight.
The economic news gets worse every fucking day, Santa Claus shot an eight-year-old girl in the face, and Israel and Palestine are doing their best to annihilate each other again.
To top it all off, the only Christmas card I got this year was from my insurance agent. And that bitch never even met me. Hell, it's no wonder that I'm depressed.
One good thing about all this economic trouble, though: When was the last time you heard somebody talk about being afraid of catching bird flu?
* * * * * * * * * * *
Hey, speaking of that murderous Santa Claus... I was sitting on the couch watching the local news last weekend, just to see when the weather was going to break (and check out what fine young Ama Daetz was wearing), and the next thing I know I'm listening to the goddamned 9-1-1 call that went out when the bastard went on his bloody rampage.What the fuck?!
How can the authorities release the actual tape of that? Isn't it some sort of invasion of the victims' privacy? If not, then what about my privacy? I didn't ask to hear the fucking thing. Don't get me wrong, people. I understand that it was a terrible, frightening situation that ended up in tragedy, but do we really need to hear the fear in the person's voice who called the cops while the deranged Kris Kringle mowed down his ex-wife and his in-laws? I think not, and was, therefore, duly horrified.
At least I had enough beer to outlast the ice storm and Ama was wearing that sweet little red number that fits her like a second skin.
* * * * * * * * * * *
The death of jazz trumpeter Freddie Hubbard marks the most recent celebrity passing this December. Hubbard's heart gave out just yesterday at age 70, as did the heart of pinup queen Bettie Page (85), who died earlier in the month. Joining them were Famous Monsters of Filmland founder Forrest J. Ackerman (92), and the talented Eartha Kitt (81), who died of colon cancer. Known far and wide as the most feline of the actresses to play the part of Batman's sexiest nemesis Catwoman, Kitt, who was also a singer, recorded the definitive version of 'Santa Baby' and, appropriately enough, passed on Christmas Day.
See you on the other side!
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